I am starting to feel like I no longer experience "seasons". Days just mash into each other, and time is flying! Slow down, I say!! I was getting my children ready for school this morning, and it hit me like a ton of bricks how fast they have grown. The baby stages, all gone. My oldest is in his first week of "Middle School". Wow, that went fast. Though my memories are all still clear of him and his paci days. He would have that paci in his mouth, and his woobie wrapped around his neck whilst charging through the house looking for his trucks, or chasing Montana, our beloved Golden retriever who has since left us. I'm actually amazed at how fast my life is going.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying them in every stage, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss when he still liked to call me Mommy rather than just Mom. When before they could crawl or walk holding them, feeding them, smelling their baby fine hair. Rubbing my nose in their heads while they lay on my chest napping. Running to me when a boo boo could only be healed with a kiss. Those days go by in the blink of an eye, and I never realized it until now. Forgive me for feeling quite nostalgic, it was just one of those days where my memories came rushing in and I felt a little sad that those days are long gone now. If only I had appreciated that time more rather than just being a busy mom with 2 in diapers while one was potty training. I was so overwhelmed when they were babies because they were all so young together, I don't know if I took enough time to appreciate it and relish those moments. I feel like I'm relishing in them more now that they are gone. I guess that's why there's a saying about missing things more when they are gone.
I love being a Mother. I truly love it, and am not sure I was meant to do anything but. I feel so comfortable in this position. I feel important being someone's Mom. I take my job very seriously. All aspects, from toilet cleaning duty to the only one who knows how to make the pb & j's just right. Just enough p with the perfect amount of j. But I can't help but think of how quickly these years will be going, and I just want to hit the pause button and enjoy it more. We get so busy with school, homework, grocery shopping, working a full day, showers, getting everything ready for the next day, then starting all over again that Monday through Friday are usually just a blur. I just want to focus on them and soaking up as much as I can before it's time for them to spread their wings and fly the nest. They are still young enough to want to hang with Mom, but are just at that age where I'm starting to be on the verge of embarrassing them with way too many kisses at the bus stop. Way too many questions about what happened in school today, and continuing to press because I'm only getting "nothings" and it was ok rather than exciting details.
Well, I guess the moral of this story is, I need to slow down. It's way to easy to get caught up in the stressful events of the day, and the what we need to get done. I want to be able to say when I'm older and alone at home that I spent as much quality time with my 3 children as I could. I can't believe how easy that is to say rather than just do. Yes, I spend most of my waking time 'with' them. I'm really interested in quality over quantity at this point. Reading books together, watching movies together, running around outside playing tag. Teaching them some of my favorite games I played as a child has been a new favorite for all of us. They love to hear stories of what happened when I was their age, and what I did for fun, then try it out themselves. I truly hope that I am able to give them the best that I can give them, with what they need, and what they deserve as my children.
Thank you for listening.... God bless