Saturday, February 25, 2012

Snow Day

Yesterday we finally had a "good" snow storm!  About 6 inches fell.  It was so pretty!  The kids are LOVING IT!  We have a crazy hill in our yard.  It's absolutely insane actually.  I can barely watch them when it's really good sledding out, because they go so fast.  They have so much fun, and really enjoy it.  My oldest was getting so bummed out that there was no snow this year.  He felt very cheated that it was "cold for no reason".  Anyway, they had their first snow day of the year yesterday as well, which is so un-characteristic for us. 

The snow packed really well, and they made a snowman family.  I was quite impressed with their skills!  They had no help from me at all.  They used carrots and blueberries to make the faces.  Our dog Coco sat right next to the snowmen and caught all blueberries that fell.  It was hilarious watching them!  They got so mad at her.  I couldn't stop laughing, I had no idea dogs even ate blueberries!!  She just kept on sitting there, and they kept getting madder and madder at her!  Finally I brought her in to end their torture, and they were able to finish them.  I took some pictures, which you will see below.

Here's Ayden with his snowman.  They all made a snowman replica of themselves.  So cute they are!!

Kevin's snowman version of himself.  I don't like the way some of the pics came out because of lighting.  It was raining by the time they finished.  I think they still look super cute though!  I love how the snowmen came out.  They were very cute making them.

Anna bananas snowman.  They had so much fun! It was so fun watching them, and taking pictures.  They were just full of life and happiness!

I love how the house looks in the snow.  It reminds me of a painting, or post card.  It's so beautiful with the brown, against the white of the snow.  <3

We had a great day, and they have been playing outside most of today as well.  It's alot colder today though, so they only stay for a half an hour at a time.  They are going to be nice and tuckered out by tonight just from getting in and out of their snow suits all day!  LOL

Friday, February 24, 2012


There can be no situation in life in which the conversation of my dear sister will not administer some comfort to me. ~Mary Montagu
I am very blessed with a wonderful family.  I have two sisters, both older.  The best part is that we are all extremely close.  I tell them both everything.  My mother, and my two sisters, are the center of my world.  They have taught me so many things, and loved and supported me through all of my triumphs and failures.  I honestly do not know what I would do without them.

My sister Rose is absolutely amazing.  She's really strong, and smart.   She has been through many challenges, and heartache in the last 2 years, and in that time I have learned so much.  Her husband Sean passed away 2 years ago in January.  It was sudden, and so devastating.  He was way to young to leave us.  Together they had two daughters, Chezzy and Sandra.  Both girls are my little loves.  I honestly feel as close to them as my own children.  I would give anything for those two children.  Our children are all close in age, a year apart starting with my son Kevin.  They are 9,8,7, 5 and 4.  Next year we will have all 5 in school, and they will pretty much cover every grade through 5th.  My niece Chezzy comes here after school every day.  We call them the fab 5. 

Rose, is so amazing.  She has been raising the girls so well on her own.  She took what was given to her, and she made the best out of it.  I'm so incredibly proud of her, I can't really describe it.  Rose gives without thought.  Last summer my husband and I started to have a very bad time financially.  We had some days where we didn't have food.  Rose, my other sister Kim, and my Mother helped me so much, and without a second thought.  When Rose loves you, she loves fully with her entire heart.  I am very lucky to be her sister.  I laugh at how when we were kids, I was very annoying to her.  To her I was an annoying little sister, who stole her lipstick, and copied her style.  To me, she was this beautiful person, with perfect hair, and clothes, and all I wanted was to be just like her.  I wanted to be everything she was.  Thankfully, as the years went by I became less annoying to her!  LOL

When our father became sick, Rose was in graduate school in Missouri, and I had to drive with her back to school one summer because my Mom needed to stay with Dad.  The adventure of that trip would be best told in another post!! LOL All I'll say is, Missouri has pigs, the size of cows, and the humidity is stifling!  I have curly, coarse hair, the entire time I was there I was a sweaty, frizzy MESS! LMAO!  Oh gosh, I am laughing hysterically just remembering that time.  We fought like cats and dogs!! LOL Anyway, my point is after that trip, we started to become very close.  She is my best friend.  I love her more than I could ever put into words.

What I love most about Rose, is the stability and peace I feel because of her.  I will never be alone with her in my life.   To know that no matter what I have to say, or what I am thinking about, I can call Rose and tell her.   With Rose by my side, I can do anything.

My sister Kim, is the oldest of the three of us.  We often joke she is our other Mother.  She always took care of me.  She is a very giving, beautiful person.  She is very sweet, and sensitive.  She has amazing spirit.  She has three children as well, two boys, Devin, and Garrett, and one daughter McKaela.  Kim is a great Mother, and family person.  She believes strongly in family, and keeping everyone together.  I love that about her.  She is very close with our Mom, they like alot of the same things. 

As a child I remember Kim being the one to keep me and Rose in line.  She would make sure we were up when it was time for school.  No matter how mean we were to her, she stood her ground.  Kim has quite a sense of humor.  I dare say it's a bit warped!  To this day I can't just walk right out of the bathroom at my mothers house.  She would stand outside the door and jump at you and yell whenever you would come out.   No matter how many times she would do it, and I would KNOW she would be there, it would still scare the crap out of me!!  She would also beep her horn in the car anytime you walked in front of it!  We would get so mad and there she'd be just smiling and laughing away.  She's very funny. 

What I love most about Kim, is her caring nature.  If you need a friend, or an ear, you can call her, and she will listen and support you.  She would be there for you, no matter what time of day or night, or what the circumstance.  My whole family is that way actually.  Just one phone call, and within 20 minutes, Mom, Rose and Kim are all there for you.  I love Kim very much, and I am so very thankful for her. 

I am a very lucky girl.  I have 2 amazing sisters, and an amazing Mother.  With them beside me I can do anything.  The world is so big, but there love is bigger.  They support me, and love me no matter what.  I am so very grateful that God has blessed me with the family I have.  I honestly can not imagine a better way to live.

God Bless!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Pretty Pictures

For Christmas one of my gifts were a beautiful new camera.  I'd been dying to get my hands on a new one, and my husband gave me a beautiful Sony.  I had some difficulty figuring out the settings, and had many pictures where the person looked to be wearing a very bright shade of red lipstick, and blush.  Not so good.  Finally after many trials and errors, I think I have got it down.  YAY!  The kids let me be photographer while they were playing the last two days outside, and I am really excited with the outcome.  I wanted to share some of my favorites from them. 

My Sweet girl.  Always so patient with Mommy when she has the camera stuck in her face, no matter how long!  I just love this shot.  It captures her deep, amazing amber eyes, and her sweet smile.  She lights up my life this girl. <3<3

Love, LoVE, LOVE the way this came out.  Sometimes when he smiles for pictures, it looks forced.  He gets really sweet, and shy just as you raise the camera.  I found a small, though, not something to be proud of trick that I now use, which I think I'll keep secret for now, that as soon as I use this trick, it causes sheer, natural laughter.  So I will take that for sure.  I just  adore his smile, and the sparkle in his beautiful eyes.  He's my little knight in shining armor.  <3<3

My little movie star!  This picture reminds me of James Dean.  He was not posing, or caring at all that I had a camera out, he was just going about his business, playing and being happy.  I got this shot just before he jumped off the last porch step.  Totally unexpected shot, that I am madly in love with!! <3<3

I just adore this.  She's giving me one of her sweet looks, even though I imagine she's thinking oh goodness Ma! Not another close up!! LOL!! My little princess!! <3 <3

Aww my little bug-a-roo not so happy with all the smiling I'm making him do!!  I love this picture, it's totally real, and I love that I captured one small moment.  Don't worry, next click he was laughing at Mommy's silly words she was saying.  <3<3

I love when I can catch them just being natural.  Totally unaware of the camera.  He was watching our dog Coco chase after his sister and brother. 

Though I could easily put up most of our pictures from the day, I will not over load you.  LOL  Just one last of my sweety puppy Coco.  As soon as I saw this shot I fell madly in love with it.  She is so stinken cute!  She was in a dead run for the kids.   It is pure joy to watch them all play together.  My sister said Coco should be wearing a pink cape and a diamond studded collar in this picture.  LOL I absolutely agree!  It would fit her personality too.  She sassy, yet very sensitive! 

I hope that you are all having a perfect end to your day today.  I am off to tuck in 3 little monsters, and and tell an adventerous story before they fall off to dreamland. 

God Bless!!!

A normal day

I can't believe I have already failed at my idea of blogging every day!  Sheesh that didn't take long!  I really had planned on that, really!  It seems that even when I think I have time to add something there I go messing that plan up.

 I have a few things I want to talk about today.  One being I sometimes feel as a Mom, I bomb.  My eldest son, absolutely detests school.  He just isn't digging it.  I've tried to come up with creative ways to inspire him, star charts, rewards after so many days of doing well, jumping up and down and doing a really crazy mommy celebratory dance.  But the bottom line is, he isn't going to dig it anytime soon, no matter how many antics.  Sure I can get him to participate and be cheery to my face for the week the reward is pending, but the fact is, as soon as that is over so is his drive.  So I have to say I feel like I'm failing him.  I'm not pumping him up enough.  Ok so I get that he may just be that kind of person that isn't going to like it.  NO matter what we try.  But there is this little voice inside of me that keeps blaming it on me, and something I'm missing.  This month alone I've gotten 2 letters from his teacher, and today's was a really obvious sign that she is not at all happy with him.  His desk is a disaster, and he is not doing his work.  He's "forgetting" it at school, and not completing his assignments.  Or he's just not handing them in at all.  He's 9, and in the 4th grade, so I am not sure how he's going to fair for the next 8 years if I don't come up with something!

I sat him down to talk with him today, and as I was talking I literally saw the words flying past his ears.  Just not one word soaked in.  I looked at him, and realized I can't possibly make another weekly reward, or possibly make another star chart.  Clearly that's not helping.  I just want him to put effort in, without bribery.  This is where I feel as though I have failed him.  Had I not bribed him in the first place, and simply told him that he has to do better in order to pass the grade, maybe he wouldn't be waiting for bells and whistles to be going off in order for him to start doing something.  The really aggravating thing here is that he is smart!  REALLY SMART!  He can read extremely well, and most times when he actually applies himself, he's passing with A's and B's.  So I don't know what the answer is, but today, after I received the letter of dismay from his teacher, I simply told him there will be no prizes, or bribes, you just have to do better.  Yes, I got a blank stare for more then a minute, but I just stared back, and stood my ground.  He did however finish tonight's homework in less then 4 hours, which is normally how long we go each night.  In fact he was done in half an hour.  I'm not sure that I have solved this problem, but I'm pretty sure he is aware that all the prizes he received to date, will be all he receives for a while as far as school work prizes go.  So we shall see.....

That is about all the excitement for today.  Ayden has a play tomorrow, which up until today he was in no way participating in.  But something must have changed since then, because he has loudly proclaimed he is in a play tomorrow, and he has said his line several times, each time with growing excitement.  I'm excited for him! 

Annelyse is hanging with her Dad tonight, her favorite guy in all the land.  She loves and adores him, and it's very endearing.  He's a very rough around the edges kind of guy, but when she is near him, he is as soft as silk!  It's the sweetest thing ever!!

My quote for today: ~ Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

God Bless!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Beautiful Mother

I knew I wanted to write something about my mother, before I even started my blog.  I always thought of all the things I could say about her.  Now that my blog is finally up, and active, I had started to write about her a few times already this week, then stopped.   I have so many things I want to say about her, yet I don't exactly know where to start.  I could easily write for hours, on all of the things she's taught me, and done with me, and for me.  My mother is beautiful in every sense of the word.  She is strong, funny and smart.  She is spunky, forgiving, and kind.  She is all of the things a mother could be.  In her heart lies all of the love that you could ever imagine holding for your family. 

My mother had breast cancer, and after losing my father to the dreaded disgusting cancer, there was no way I would have been able to lose her.  Oh my god no!  When she was first diagnosed, she was amazing.  I remember when she first told me, I just laid in my bed and cried until the pillow was soaked all the way through.  I didn't want to get out of bed because my sorrow was deep.  I didn't want to get up and let the world start moving forward again because I was afraid.  Then everything changed, because my mother didn't let the cancer take anything from her.  Only her breasts, and she gave them up willingly.  I would do just the same, especially now that I have learned from her how to be courageous.  How to fight for your life with grace, dignity, and spirit.  My Mother had all of those things and more.  The doctors gave her options, mainly to have one breast removed, then take medicine and possibly chemo therapy after.  She would hear nothing of it.  She had her mind made up for a radical mastectomy, and thank GOD for that!  That alone saved her life.  She knew what she was going to do, and she had no plans on changing her mind.  We later came to find out she made the best decision possible, b/c there were signs of bad cancer in the other breast, that the Dr's supposedly thought was healthy.  She saved her own life.  How amazing is that?  My mother taught me that you can't be afraid, you have to just take what you are given and move forward.  Charge forward, and do what you gotta do.   She told me once to Worry about the bad things when they happen, otherwise you'll waste a lot of good time for nothing.  Pretty smart huh?

My Mother is very spiritual.  She is not afraid of death, and she has the most lovely faith I have ever seen.  She knows the bible, and she will tell you what is in it.  She is talented beyond talented.  She can knit, and craft and learn knew things within a few days.  I've always been in awe of that about her.  She makes the most beautiful things you have ever seen.  I have so many of her scarves, and yet I feel as though I don't have nearly enough!!!! I absolutely LOVE that about her.  How she can just pick up two sticks (knitting needles LOL) and a ball of yarn, and create something beautiful.  I don't have an ounce of that talent, so I simply admire hers! 

My Mother is beautiful.  She is so completely beautiful.  She has been there for me through every single triumph, and every single failure.  When I fall she picks me up, dusts me off and tells me to carry on.  She teaches me something knew all of the time.  Even at 37 years old she is still teaching me so much about life, and love.  I have always been so thankful that I was born by her.  I mean really, really thankful.  I am who I am, because of so much of what my mother has given me. 

She has been such a huge part of my children's lives, and raising them with me.  The calls of hysterics to her house when I had my babies, and believe me there were many, were always met with calmness and a bit of humor.  That's what I love most about my mother.  Her humor.  She puts a little bit of humor in many of the things in our life.  She can make you smile, and laugh with ease. 

If I could become just a small bit of what my mother is, I would be very happy with that.  I do believe she is a little bit of heaven here on earth.  My Beautiful Mother.  I am truly blessed, and so are my children.  She loves them as though they were her own children.  She gives herself without thought, and she cares for you, and loves you with every bit of her heart.  Truly a gift from God.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Kevin Thomas

Kevin Thomas, my sweet, sensitive 9 year old.  My first child.  My husband and I had been married alittle over a year and a half when we decided to start trying for a baby.  I had anticipated along time of trial and error episodes before becoming pregnant.  Much to my great surprise that wasn't necessary.  I became pregnant very soon after we first made the decision.  So soon in fact, that I had absolutely no idea I was in fact pregnant.  I was away for a weekend conference for my job, and cried the entire time I was there.  A friend, and fellow co-worker must have thought I was completely crazy at the time.  She was very sweet though, and stayed by my side the entire time.  We finally decided to leave early, as the conference proved to be most aggravating, and I was just a mess of emotions.  After I got home I had this sudden thought, that perhaps I was feeling this way because I was pregnant!  My husband waited out in the living room, on the couch, while I took the test.  I didn't even have to wait the normal 2 minutes before it said pregnant.  I watched the line go as it filled the window, and the two lines appeared immediately! 

My pregnancy was pretty tough as I grew in belly size, when I was in my 5th month I had to stop work, and go on disability.  The way I was carrying, Kevin was laying on my my sciatic nerve.  At first it was just a constant dull ache, that eventually turned into stabbing, shooting pains that went through my back, stomacn and down my legs.  One time in particular I had just gotten out of the shower, my husband was working, and my legs went completely numb as I was getting out of the shower.  I fell hard on the floor, but thankfully fell sideways, and didn't hurt my baby.  I had no way to get out of the bathroom, or to call for help since I was alone.  I laid on the floor for over 45 minutes waiting for the feeling to return.  I was freezing, and absolutely terrified.  I cringe now at the thought of that day, it was truly one of the scariest times in my life.  I finally got the feeling back and went to the couch and called my husband in complete hysterics. 

My pregnancy went pretty well after that one episode, because I started physical therapy, which helped a lot!  I had 2 beautiful showers, one from the girls at work, and the other from my mother and sisters.  I had the most beautiful baby things, and was so over joyed.  I couldn't wait to meet him.  Everything that happened to my body was a new experience for me, and I had no idea about so many of the things that did happen.  It's quite an experience to say the least!! 

I was due in the beginning of October, but that day came and went.  All 3 of my labors had to be induced, as I was over due on all of them.  I guess they were just too comfortable in their environments that they wanted to stay!  He was born on October 17th.  I had to have my appendix out exactly one month later.  I was so sad being away from him when he was so young.  Fortunately though I am blessed with the most wonderful family, and my mother and sisters all took turns caring for him while I was in the hospital, and then for me when I was discharged.  I'm very, very blessed!

Wow I've gone much longer than I had anticipated here, with this story.  I haven't even started telling you about how wonderful Kevin is!

Kevin is very sensitive, a lot like his mother.  He has depth to his personality, much like a man would many years his senior.  He is emotional, and loving.  He has a bit of a dislike for school, that I wish he didn't have.  It causes him alot of anxiety, that as his mother I wish I could do something about.  When he was a baby he was diagnosed with G.E.R.D which has been challenging through out his life.  He has learned to deal, and cope with it, but it still has a lot of impact on him.  Kevin is very smart, but he has trouble with confidence.  I often wish he could see himself, as I see him.  He's just a wonderful little person, who has wonderful layers to him, that make him the beautiful child he is.  Kevin loves animals, and has such a sweet caring way about him towards animals.  He feels sadness for things far beyond his years.  He and I will watch movies together, and both be completely hysterical, and then follow up with laughing at each other!  He loves video games, computers, and  anything historical.  He loves dinosaurs, and archeology.  He gets very involved in learning about the worlds history.  He loves to google our presidents, and past inventors and learn certain things about them.  I think he is going to do great things when he's older, especially because he's already doing that now. 

My hope for Kevin, is that he becomes confident in himself, and realizes how important, and special he is.  I want him to know just what a joy he his, and how this world is a much better place because his is in it.  I am so proud to be his mother, and I look forward to all of the adventures we are going to have together.

Saturday, February 18, 2012


A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
- Joseph Joubert, French philosopher

Just a quick note before I head to bed.  I love this quote that I posted above.  Kindness, such an easy word to say, yet not so easy for some to act on.  I'd like to see more people in this world, care more for others.  It seems the older I get the worse the general populations dislike for each other becomes.  There are a lot of angry people out there, who just do what they can to make others feel awful.  Some almost get a rush from it.  The news has become down right horror-storyesque.  I can't bare to read the daily headlines anymore.  So many missing adults, and children.  So many murders.  Why is this happening so much?  What is to become of us if this keeps up? 
I realize I probably sound like some fruit loop right now, but it's truly how I feel.  You would be amazed how starting your day smiling will impact the rest of your day.  "Give on to this world, what you wish you get out of it"   That's something that is always going through my mind.   It's the same with people, treat them as you would want to be treated.  Such a simple little concept, yet so many just aren't getting it.  Don't get me wrong, I don't wake up puking flowers, and love sonnets, I have my own grumpy, pessimistic side.  I was just thinking alot tonight about how I want my children to grow up wanting to give to people.  Help the needy, and less fortunate, and just be nice to everyone.  I want them to always feel the way they do now about the world, and their life.  That it is magical, and full of beautiful and exciting things to explore.  Knowing that will someday be tainted with bitter reality, breaks my heart. 

I've been thinking about starting a "random acts of kindness" adventure with my children.  A few mothers that I know have done this and it has made a huge impact on them.  I have some really good ideas and I think that my kids will love it, and really get into it.  Maybe tomorrow I will talk about this with them, and come up with a start date.  I'll let you know what we decide to do, and what our first idea will be. 

Well I guess that is really all for tonight.  Just some ramblings I've had in my mind lately.  I hope to write something about my son Kevin tomorrow, to introduce you to him as well.  The three of them have been very interested in my blog, and got a big kick out of reading about themselves today.  They feel famous now.  LOL So stinken cute they are!!!

Sweet Dreams everyone!!

God Bless

Friday, February 17, 2012

Annelyse Rose

Annelyse Rose, my sweet, loving 7 year old daughter.  How lucky I am to have her.  There is so much I could say about her.  Her character is one of the most wonderful things about her.  She is kind, loving, and cares about everyone.  She wants to make you feel better if you are sad, and has done so since she was a baby.  I wasn't supposed to be pregnant when I did conceive her.  I had just miscarried 2 months prior, and I don't even think I was supposed to be sexually active yet.  I had been told at my follow up appointment from the surgery after my miscarriage, that I was pregnant!  It was also a huge surprise that she was a girl.  My husbands family is all boys.  Several generations of boys.  So when we found out it was a girl, I at first didn't believe it!  To my excitement it was true. 

Even her delivery was easy, it took only a half a push to bring her into this world.  The rest of the work getting here she did on her own.  My sweet baby girl.  She slept 11 hours her first night home!  I had no idea how much a baby could sleep, as I had 3 months of sleepless nights with her brothers entry into our world.  It's funny because when my son Kevin was a baby his first 3 months were very hard, as far as sleeping, and eating went.  We later discovered he has G.E.R.D but until then he literally was awake for 3 months.  I remember calling my mother and bawling my eyes out I was so terrified something was really wrong with him.  She always handled me very calmly on my many calls of hysterics.  When Annelyse came home and slept 11 hours the first night, my husband and I both woke up the next morning, after only an hour or so of sleep and thought OMG is something wrong with her?? My first instinct being to call my mother, she calmly answered my question by telling me that what Ms. Anna was doing was NORMAL!  So that was that, and we went on our way with our beautiful new member to our family.

Annelyse is sensitive, and caring, and smart.  She's beautiful, and eloquent, and silly.  She's vibrant, sassy, and funny.  She's everything you would want in a child.  I still look at her with amazement and complete awe that she is all mine.  When people see us out and about they almost always remark that she looks like me. Though I'm not nearly as pretty as she is, she always smiles and says yes I know.  When we went trick or treating this year, we went to my old neighborhood where I grew up.  Every single person that came to the door, said the same thing when they saw her.  WOW You look just like your Mommy!  By the third house she was nodding yes, and finishing there sentence before they got many words out!  She's just precious.

My favorite thing about Annelyse is that she is a healer.  She will lay her hands on you when she sees you are struggling, and will talk softly to you, in hopes to make you forget what it was that was troubling you.  I believe that she was brought here to heal Mommy's heart after the miscarriage, and now it's bubbling over onto the others she comes in contact with.  She sees things in people that others don't.  That I don't, as her mother.  She sees all good things in all people.  She loves with all of her heart.   I worry she is going to get hurt alot in her life because some people can be mean.  I was really surprised to see how mean some children can be, as early as kindergarten.  It makes me very angry.  She's already had her little heart broken from girl friends who use her friendship for their own good.   I want to just wrap her in a bubble and protect her, but of course that isn't possible.   I try to talk to her and explain that some people are just that way, and that we should just pray for them.  I'd rather go to their Mothers and give them a huge talking too, but I don't think that is the answer either.

The most wonderful thing about being a mother, is to see the new things your child can bring to your world every single day.  My children are bright, and fascinating, and I am just beside myself with what they have to offer this world.  I do believe with all of my heart that Annelyse is going to make a huge impact on this world, and she's going to do it with her caring, loving, amazing huge heart. 

That my friends is my introduction to my daughter, Annelyse Rose.  The loveliest princess in all of my world.  I am thoroughly enjoying being her mother, and learning from her, probably more then I will ever teach her. 

I hope you are all having a fantastic Friday.

God Bless!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Finally Snow!

The weather here in New York has been completely off.  I can not remember any other winter in my 37 years that we didn't have any snow.  Today we finally had an actual snow storm, and it was really nice to see.  I actually love winter.  Not having the usual weather this year has me feeling off.  It just doesn't seem right.  Plus I really enjoy when I can send the kids out in the snow to play, and they get completely exhausted from all the activity!  They look so cute when they come in, snow drenched, red rosy cheeks, sparkly eyes.  They've all been complaining that it's been cold for absolutely no good reason, and they are not pleased.  LOL  The one advantage is we have alot of snow days built up, and  we are getting extended weekends, and holidays for the next few months.  This weekend they will actually have five days off, to use up a snow day.

The down side of todays snow storm, is that I had to walk to the bus stop in it.  My husband and I have been sharing a car since October, scratch that, my husband has been using MY car since October, and I am lucky to get a ride on the days I have to work.  He will tell you we are sharing, and he is utterly inconvenienced, but I'm still not sure what planet he's living on that he thinks that way.  He gets the car, it's that simple.  I miss my car.  I really like it.  It's a suburban, typical bus type vehicle, but it's perfect for me, and I was always very proud of it!  Plus it is equipped with a tv, my beautiful car babysitter! LOL Anyway, I digress, we live in a very quiet, rural area, and the bus stop is a half a mile away.  Our driveway, which I'll show you in a picture so you can get the full extent of the walk, is 1200ft, straight up hill.  Most people call it the goat path, and usually in the winter, no one will come anywhere near it.  It can be quite treaterous.   So anyway, it was storming, and I had to get the kids off the bus, and walk them back, that's the tricky part.  I was so worried because the roads were really slippery, and I was terrified that a car would slip in the road, and hit one of us.  Oh gosh I cringe even now after we've been back home safely for hours.  It just wasn't fun, the kids however didn't mind at all.  The snow packed really, really well, so they had a great time launching snowballs at eachother the entire way home.

Here are some pictures of the walk.... and our first long awaited snow storm...

These are some shots I took with my phone on the way down.  The second pic is our home, my pride and joy.  My husband and I built it together with our family.  It's a pretty amazing thing building your own home from the ground up.  I can still look around and remember each step, each ding in the wood, each process that we took, as if it all happened just yesterday.  I love my home, the taxes are really outrageous though, so that may end up being a reason to sell.  Until then however, I'm just going to keep on being in love with it.  :) The last picture is the actual bus stop.  It gives me a bit of a chuckle to say that, as most people would probably not envision that as a "bus stop".  None the less it is, and we have had some wild adventures these past few months walking to and from.

Well I guess that is about it for my excitement today.  My neice is spending the night, she comes here after school, and my sister was unable to get here to pick her up tonight because the roads were so bad.  My children have no problem with that what so ever, they are all close in age, and madly in love with eachother.  They play, and laugh like no tomorrow.  It's the greatest thing in my opinion.  To have such a close relationship with your cousins. 
I wish you all a marvelous night!!

God Bless!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Thomas Micheal Callihan RIP

In a few days it will be the 19th anniversary of my fathers death.  It's actually hard to believe it's been that long, because at times it feels like just yesterday.  He was 45 years old when he passed.  He had been diagnosed with breast cancer in August of 1992, and he went home to heaven only 8 short months later.  He had never been sick prior to this.  He was so healthy, strong, and just plain beautiful.  He had over a years worth of sick time saved up at his job.

Over the years I've had a lot of time to think about how I feel about him dying.  When it first happened I was only 18 years old.  So immature, and so ignorant.  I just had no idea what the world was like.  We had such a lovely, sheltered home life.  Dinner was always promptly at 5pm.  My mother would make amazing dinners.  We would all sit down together, and at that table, we shared some of the most wonderful moments of my life.  One thing we could all do with each other was laugh.  Laugh, and laugh at each other, over silly jokes, it was just wonderful.  I wouldn't mind if we could go back for a night, just so I could sit and have one of those family dinners.  To see my Father again, would be so completely amazing.  That's what is so crappy about losing someone.  I don't feel like I appreciated my time with him enough.  Don't get me wrong, we were so extremely close.  I was Daddy's little girl by every sense possible.  He was my warrior.  There was nothing that he could not do in my eyes.  He just wasn't supposed to die. 

I miss him more now as an adult, and mother I think than when I did in my early 20's.  I look at my children and my heart aches over it.  He would have been so wonderful with them.  He would have taken them fishing, and taught them all kinds of wonderful things.  He would have sang to them.  Put them on his lap and sang with his guitar, just as he did with me.  They would have loved him so much.  It breaks my heart that they were cheated out of that.  I know he would have been one of the most amazing grandfathers there ever was. 

Everything my Dad did, he did well.  He came from a very poor, broken home, and because of that was determined to make the most of his life.  He started out with nothing, and ended with everything.  Just as he was dying all of the things he had worked so hard for started to happen for him.  He was the superintendent of his job, he became the fire chief, he was featured in field and stream magazine.  He was an avid conservationist.  He was amazing at all things nature.   Fly fishing was one of his favorite things to do.  Singing too.  He could play the guitar solely by ear.  He was not able to read music, but it didn't matter.  He didn't need too.  He was able to just play the guitar, and sing with the most wonderful voice.  He was a wedding singer, and very popular too.  He was well known in our town.  When he died there were hundreds of people at his funeral.  The police and fire department stood outside of the church and saluted my mother and I when we came out.  The firemen marched behind his casket, that they had put in his favorite old fire engine all the way to his grave.  I often thought if he was watching, he had to be so incredibly proud. 

I wish people didn't forget about special people like my Dad though.  I'd like to talk about him.  Share memories, and funny stories.  My husband knew of him, but did not know him.  He wasn't here to walk me down the aisle.  That broke my heart, and took away my desire to have a big wedding.  My husband and I actually ended up eloping, much to the dismay of my mother.  For me though, it was good to do it that way.  Not having my Dad there, to sing for me, and walk me down the aisle, just took it all away for me.  It just didn't feel necessary without him. 

He was the type of person that you just loved when you knew him.  He was handsome, smart, and charismatic.  He loved wholeheartedly, and gave everything his 100%.  The world was a better place when he was in it.  I believe that he was so special, God needed him to do bigger things.  I absolutely believe he's off doing great, fantastic things somewhere in heaven.  Building a beautiful home for my Mother and him.  I picture him fly fishing in the most beautiful stream that ever was, while humming a beautiful tune.  I see the sun shining on his face, and the beautiful sparkle in his eye.  The best part is I see him without breast cancer.  I see him whole, all the beautiful curls perfectly intact atop his head, his olive skin is smooth and shiny, he's glowing.  Glowing in perfect health, and grand stature.  That's the most wonderful part about him being gone.  There is no pain where he is, there is no cancer, and there is no sadness. 

If there is anything that I could tell him, it would be that I love him, and miss him, and I hope so much that he is proud of me.  I want so much for him to be proud of who I've become. 

It's very important for people to know that men can get breast cancer too.  It's worse for men because they do not have the fatty tissue that women have in their breasts, and it can spread very, very quickly.  When my Father found his lump it had already spread.  Please make the men in your life aware that they too should do self checks, and their doctors should check them as well during physicals.  It's really very important for all of us. 

Happy Heart Day!

Happy Valentines Day!  The children went to school with bags full of goodies today, and all sorts of excitement!!   They each had a party in their class.  We spent Sunday filling out their cards.  My youngest Ayden had me get a special present for his teacher.  He really loves her!!  I found these adorable mugs where the outside was a chalk board.  The card said For an A+ teacher.  It was very sweet, and he was very excited to give it to her. 

I hope they enjoy their day.  I can't wait to hear about it, and see there little cards.  It's just so cute when they make their little mailboxes and go through all the cute cards they got when they get home.  I used to love that so much as a kid.  I would always have a little crush on someone, and I'd be especially happy when they'd give me a card.  Even though they all read the same thing, I'd somehow read into it, and think they chose that specific card just for me! LOL

I read on a blog I had read earlier today, take care of your heart, it does everything.  I couldn't agree more.  It's where everything happens.  :)

I got a dozen roses from my husband.  They are beautiful.  I wish you all a beautiful day, and I hope that whomever your wishing your valentine to be, is.

God Bless!

The Foofer

My youngest son, Ayden, the foofer.  What a joy he is.  He was a surprise, a big wonderful surprise.  I had planned only one of my pregnancies.  My first.  Annelyse and Ayden, were not planned, they were instead wonderful surprises.  Of course my son Kevin was just as wonderful a surprise.  I often think that each of my children have something special planned for us.  God gave them to me, but it is the world that they will make their impact on.  I was blessed right from the start.  I plan to introduce you to all 3 of my children individually, I'd like to dedicate this post to Ayden, my little foofer man.

I had woke up one morning with horrible stomach pains.  I had already lost my appendix so I knew it wasn't that.  It was just an awful stabbing pain, that would not leave me.  I called my husband and he took me to urgent care.  I had a sonogram and they told me I had a large cyst, and would need to go to the hospital to have it drained.  On the way to the hospital my husband and I were talking about having my tubes tied.  You see my husband has 2 boys from a previous marriage, and when we first began getting serious, he always wanted to make it clear to me that he didn't want any children.  That wasn't going to work out so well for me, and my plan.  We had actually considered splitting up at one point, because we just couldn't agree on this.  I felt very strongly that I was put on this earth to become a mother, and he was either going to have to let me go my own way, or we would have to come to an understanding that I would be able to be a Mother.  It makes me chuckle a bit now to think how he was so sure I would only have one.  Just one child, that was what he would agree on.  Clearly God had other plans.  Anyway, on the way to the hospital, we were discussing that I would have my tubes tied.  We figured since they were going to be in that general area removing my cyst they may as well do that also.  I was in so much pain I didn't really care much about it.  I agreed to tell them to tie my tubes.  I later came to regret that decision, but that is not what my story is about right now.

We met my doctor in the emergency room, and I signed all of my paperwork, and informed her that I would also like her to tie my tubes.  She gave me the necessary paperwork for that, and we were on our way to surgery.  The surgery went very well, and they tied my tubes as well.  While in recovery I remember speaking to my doctor.  Though I was very foggy, it came very clear soon after what it was she told me.  However as they were wheeling me to my room, I kept having this strange thought that someone told me I was pregnant.  Was that what they told me?  Or was I simply feeling delusional from the anesthesia?  They wheeled me into my room and I saw my husband on the other side, sitting in a chair with his back to the door looking out the window.  He would not look at me.  I started to quickly realize that I may have not been so foggy after all.  The nurse got me all set up and I asked if the doctor would be in, and she told me very soon.  Thank heavens because the awkward silence that had now ensued between me and my husband was starting to really work my nerves.  Finally my doctor came in and she had my husband step out so she could examine me.  I was so thankful for that as I was anxious to speak with her alone.  I said "I hate to sound like a bit of a nut, but I was wondering if you had told me while in recovery that I was pregnant?"  her reply, "Yes"

My mind went into a million directions.  She started her explaining, which at first was really confusing.  She had tied my tubes, however my uterus looked as though it were preparing for a pregnancy.  I had so many questions!! Did that mean my baby was not going to be ok, I mean she did say she tied my tubes!!  Thankfully, she quickly explained my baby would be fine, if I am in fact pregnant because once the egg passes through the tubes, they serve no other purpose during pregnancy.  Phew!  Well long story short, I was in fact pregnant, and my tubes were tied.  Oh what a joy that was explaining it to the different doctors I saw each month at my prenatal appointments.  When you have more than one child it is common for the doctors to ask you if you would like your tubes tied after the pregnancy.  This being my third child they asked me every single time.  It was always the same, "I already had them tied".  "You what? Let me look at your chart"  They would go through my chart, see that I was in fact correct, and they would always tell me how it was one they had not heard before.  I was very nervous throughout Aydens pregnancy.  I was so scared that the surgery would have harmed him.  The anesthesia, the pain killers, the cyst being removed.  Did I hurt him?  Because of the surgery I had to see the doctor more often then normal, and had many sonograms to make sure he was ok.  I was very lucky, he was perfect in every way.  Still is.  Ayden was born on July 4th.  A perfectly awesome day to be born.  He still feels very strongly that America celebrates HIS birthday each year with fireworks.  I'll always remember when Ayden was born, the nurses brought him in to me that evening, and he lay sound asleep on my chest and I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful fireworks.  It was the most beautiful half an hour.  His sweet breathing sounds, and he was all snuggled in to my arms.  It was a magical moment that I will cherish forever.

Ayden is just a wonderful boy.  He's so funny!! He can put a smile on your face no matter how bad your day has been.  He can dance and sing, tell silly jokes, make funny faces.  He is so smart!  He is already reading, and on top of his class.  He has quite a crush on his teacher Mrs. Bury.  He just adores her, and she him.  When he went to kindergarten this year, my heart felt as though it would burst.  Each time my children start school, I cry and cry for weeks.  I would be just as happy if they stayed with me forever.  Realistically though I know this can not be, and so I reluctantly send them.  

I can't help but wonder if Ayden has a mission while he's here.  He was coming into our lives whether my husband liked it at first or not.  You know he and my husband are so close.  They have the most adorable relationship.  When I see them together I sometimes am brought back to that day in the hospital room when he wouldn't even look at me, as though I had somehow become pregnant through immaculate conception, and he had no part in it at all.  How upset he was that we would be having a third child, and now he could not imagine his life without all 3 of them.  It's funny how that happens isn't it?  You may think you know what's right for your life, but God knows best doesn't he?  He knew that we needed Ayden, and he was right.  What a glorious gift.

My wish for Ayden, Kevin and Annelyse is that they get out of this life, just as much as they have given mine.  They are all so special, and so unique.  They love without want, and they give without regret.  I didn't teach them that.  They brought that with them.  I firmly believe that some things a person has in them, can not be taught.  It's something that is just within them.  A piece of heaven, right there in their little hearts.  Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for my children.  I often worry that I'm not doing them justice.  That's me though, I'm a worrier.  I always worry that I am not doing enough, then something will happen that changes my mind.

Ayden lost his first tooth last night.  While the pulling was not so smooth, once it was out, he exclaimed it was the best day ever.  His eyes were so bright with excitement.  He was so mad at his brother for not going to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  I heard more then a few times during the night "Kevin you have to go to sleep NOW or the tooth fairy isn't going to come".  He woke up this morning, and couldn't wait to look and see what she brought him.  I asked him if he heard her come in during the night, and he said that he did, and she gave him a hug!  He wanted to bring his new toothbrush, and 4 dollars to school to show the teacher, but luckily I was able to convince him to just tell her the story instead.  He smiled all the way to school this morning, and his new hole in his mouth looked just perfect.  He's also happily told us all what that new space in his mouth can do.  He can make a noise that sounds just like a wind storm is coming, he can fit his straw in his mouth now without having to open it up, and he can fit pieces of food in there too.

The joy to be young, and see the world for all of it's beauty.  There is no tainted pictures in their little minds to ruin the view.  They only see things with joy, and excitement.  The magic of all things, just like the tooth fairy.  It's a beautiful thing.

The Beginning

I've been saying for years now that I was going to start a blog.  Nine years to be exact.  When my oldest son was born, and my life changed.  "Changed" being the operative word.  In so many ways, I became someone that I would finally be proud of.  I started living for real.  So many ways I could describe that moment.  That change so to speak.  I'll just leave it at that however, that on October 17, 2002 I became Mommy, and it was the most profound day of my life.  From that day on I lived as Mommy.  What a joy, what an honor.  What a moment.  When I looked into my son's eyes, I could see forever.  My heart exploded and the love grew to new heights, and hasn't stopped growing. 

I have 3 children now.  Kevin is 9, Annelyse is 7 and Ayden is 5.  To say they complete me, may sound corny to some, but to me it says everything.  As a child I remember wanting to be a Mom.  I can remember this one time I was 13 or around there anyway.  I remember thinking that I wanted nothing more then to skip all the "kid stuff" and go right on to being a Mother and a Wife.  That's what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Ofcourse when anyone asked the generic answers always applied.  A nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a lobbiest.  I named them all.  But my heart knew the truth.  All I ever wanted, was to be what I am now.  I realize that it's not the easiest job, but for me, it's my most favorite thing.  When I look into their eyes, I can see so much.  I want so much for them.  I want to be the best Mom I can be.  I'm not perfect by any means.  I will be the first person to admit my mistakes.  I've made some doozies, oh my, yes I have.  But isn't that the whole idea?  To live and learn.  That should be on my bumper sticker.  TO LIVE AND LEARN..... I sure am!! Every single day brings a new lesson, some I fail miserably, some I do ok in, some I pass with flying colors.  All of them however, are learning experiences. 

No matter what happens to me, one thing that will always be mine, is the love I have for my children.  No one can ever take that away from me.  It's the most amazing thing to me.  How I can love them so unbelievably much.  I could care less how corny I sound.  No matter what I teach my children, no matter what we do in our lives together, one thing that will always be the same is that I am completely, whole heartedly, 100% madly in love with them.  They make me laugh and cry, they make me smile, and frown, they make me happy and angry, and they have me completely wrapped around them.  I just adore them.

My hope for this blog is to share my experiences as a mother and wife.  I've had so many funny things happen to me over the years, I've often heard people tell me to write them down.  Some of the most ridiculous things that have happened I still can't quite believe them myself.  It's important to me that I don't forget them.  I want to always remember this time in my life, the new times to come, and the crazy exciting times that have passed.  I plan to share all of my experiences, my failures, my success.  My thoughts and feelings on any given day.  That's what is so wonderful about blogging, you can share your life, and it is my hope that it will touch someone.  I also love the idea that my children can read this, and as they grow read things that have happened, and smile, or cry.  They will have this as their way to remember what we've gone through.  It's a gift that I want to give us all.  I realize I could just do it privately, in a journal or scrapbook, but I'd also like to extend it to others.  I think it will be great for me to put things out there.  To share my journey as a Mother.  It would be with great delight if I knew that I was able to touch someone out there, help another Mother.  Offer advice to new Mom's starting out, share experience with other's just like me.  Learn from it all myself.  There are so many ways that this can help me, and it can only be an added bonus if it helps another as well.

So with that I will close my first entry.  I can't wait to see what happens as I go, what crazy new things will happen today, tomorrow and so on.  One thing for sure, it's always a wild ride in my house, and there is always something to tell.

God Bless!