Friday, March 23, 2012

The Love of a Family

It's been  2 weeks since I've last posted a blog.  My reasoning is because every time I went to write something, it was going to be negative.  I woke up from my negative comatose state a few days ago, and feel much better.  I've realized how quickly I let it consume me.  The last few weeks have been many lessons learned for me. 
One for example, letting go.  My husband has an "ex" and for the respect of those of you who will read this, I will not say just what I'd like to call her.  But in all honesty, there are many, many words I could say, and they are mean and ugly.  The hurt that she has caused me and my family for the last 14 years goes far beyond over done.  She is just too much.  Too much of everything.  She has been a thorn in my side since the day I met my husband.  We have been married for 12 years, don't you think it's time she get over it?  GET OVER IT WOMAN!!!  Anyway, back to when I realized I need to "let go".  I was stressing over and over again because of her, and what she was doing.  I was feeling overwhelmed, and angry and I was letting HER consume me.  What was I doing that for?  I mean haven't I learned that the less you pay attention to someone the more annoying it is for them?  The less they get to you the more annoying for them, and the more angry they become?  Well, that wasn't why I let it go.  I let it go because I couldn't carry it anymore.  I let it go because I knew that my husband was going to continue to make the same mistakes when it comes to her, and handling her.  I knew that if I didn't let it go, I was going to lose part of myself in that anger, and that bitterness.  So, I let it go. 

After doing that, I started to feel better with other things as well.  I started to just let this huge black cloud hanging over my head go.  We are still struggling financially, but there are some projects on the horizon.  There is hope that this long dark road is starting to come to an end.  My family has been so amazing with support.  My mother and sisters took me to dinner for my birthday, and my sister Rose said that they all had to say 3 nice things about me during desert.  Wow was that the most amazing thing.  Of course I started to cry, but it was because I was so incredibly grateful for those 3 women sitting around the table with me.  Each one of them loving me so much they would give me their last piece of bread.  They would go without whatever they had to so that my babies have food.  They said the most beautiful things to me, and they meant them.  How can I be sad, and bitter when I have that in my life??  I am so lucky, and so blessed.  It gives me this overwhelming sense that everything is going to be ok.  It is going to be ok.

It is all going to be ok because I have the love of a family that will guide me to the light.  They will hold my hand through the darkest of days until I have been guided to the light.  Thank you God.

Wishing you all a wonderful, blessed day today!!!

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