Tuesday, March 6, 2012


I wanted to take a moment to write about a pet of mine, a beautiful golden retriever that graced my life for 13 awesome years.  Since she grew her wings and flew to heaven, I have honestly lost a little peice of my heart.  I've been so sad about it, I've not been able to talk about it.  I cry instantly.  However, today I was thinking of some things I wanted to blog about, and she was the first thing that came to my mind.  She deserves a moment of Glory.  She was an angel on earth, and I really want to talk about her.  If anything else, to help me put it out there, and try to find some closure.  I bet you're thinking what kind of nut is this woman!  I am definitely a sad sap when it comes to my pets.  They are just as much my family as my children.  It's a fact. 

I remember the day I first saw her, like it was yesterday.  When I first moved in with my husband, then boyfriend,  we were living in a small place, that I just loved.  The property surrounding the house was unreal.  We would take the 4 wheeler down to this river, and spend hours there fishing, or have a bonfire, it was amazing.  We had been living together for around 6 months, it was fathers day.  He came home from work, so I thought, and had picked up his two sons from his first marriage, who were staying for the weekend.  He came in and asked me to go get his shirt from his truck.  Oh my god, I laugh now at the thought, but I was like, are you ill?  Go get it yourself fool! LMAO!! Seriously though, he knew he could have asked me to walk a mile to get his coat and the sucker for him I was (and still am) would have.  So out I went, rolling my eyes, smack talking all the way.  Jerk can't go get his own damn coat?  Probably left it in there on purpose just to see if I'd fetch it! sheesh!!!  I open up the front of the cab, and went to grab the coat, and all of a sudden two little brown eyes, and a furry head pop out from the middle of his coat!!  There she was, tiny, and fluffy, and sweet as can be.  Oh my god, I was madly, MADLY in love the moment I saw her.  She was precious in every sense of the word.  For years Kevins family used to joke that I was the dog lady because wherever I was, Montana was.  She followed me all day long.  As a puppy, and until she  was older she went with me all over.  My husband took her in the excavators and she would get lulled to sleep by the motion, and would lay at his feet for hours.  The concrete and haul truckers got to know and love her, and would often bring her treats, and play ball with her.  One time in particular they were pouring a foundation floor and she fell in, right smack in the middle of the pour, and they all loved her so much they didn't even care that they had to redo hours of work and lost hundreds of dollars.  They completely stopped what they were doing to get her cleaned up, and make sure she wasn't hurt. 
We came up with her name because at the time we were still undecided on what type of house we wanted to build, and where we would settle.  I remember my husband and I coming up with all different ideas, but none seemed right.  The night we got her, I was sitting on the front porch and she was all snuggled in my lap, and it was a beautiful night.  I had this vision of us sitting on a big beautiful front porch in our chairs over looking a beautiful lake in Montana, with our dog sitting next to us.  That was it.  Montana it was.  It fit her, it really did.

Everyone that came in contact with Montana would ask me where we trained her, and how we got her to be so well behaved.  We would always chuckle and say none, this is just her.  That was the truth.  She was mellow, and sweet, gentle and just plain precious.  She never wore a collar or a leash, except to go to the vet or the groomer, and even there when they got to know her, as soon as I walked her in the door her leash came off and she had free reign.  The day I had to put her down, she followed behind me right passed five other dogs nipping and barking, and walked right into the room.  I wish she hadn't, I wish she had turned and run away.  I wish with all of my heart that she was sitting here next to me instead of me telling this story.
In all honesty, there is nothing bad that I could say, I could tell you hours and hours of stories, of companionship and loyalty.  I just don't have it in me.  This point so far has taken more out of me than I really should honestly admit.  To be honest, I feel a little silly sometimes because of how profound my love for her is.  Her death was as horrible as any other family member.  I don't know why I can't grieve and move on.  I seem to just keep holding on to the sadness, and the fact that she won't be coming back.  I should learn from my children and their resilience.  Though they have also greived, and had some days still of tears and sadness, it's amazing to me how they are able to come to terms with it, and my oldest even being happy for her in heaven.  I'm so proud of my children, I really am.

A year ago, I had been speaking to a friend of mine who suggested we bring another dog into the family before we lose Montana, as she had done so and it helped her family profoundly after their dog died.  We welcomed Ms. Coco Pebbles on December 11, 2010.  She is a toy pekegnese, and an absolute joy.  I've never had a "lap" dog before, and it's been so fun.  She is a fantastic cuddle bug!  She and I hang on the couch every evening watching tv, all snuggled up.  I'm very thankful we had her after Montana grew her wings.  She did help us so much.   Though, things just never seem quite "right" without my pretty girl.
I think that for me, the best part about Montana was her undying love, and friendship she gave me.  She was my best friend, and loved me no matter what.  Funny thing about pets, their love is always steadfast and unconditional.  If only humanity could learn a lesson from them. 

Forgive me for the length of this post, and I wouldn't blame anyone for not having made it this far.  I really needed to do this though.  I needed to put her out there, give her a shining moment.  She is and always was alittle bit of my heart, and I feel blessed beyond measure to have had her in my life for the time that I did.

These are two of the more recent pictures of her.   She was so beautiful.  The bottom pic is where she would be every night at dinner.  I sat in the seat right next to her.  She knew who would give in and get her the goods! LOL

These are two of my favorite pictures of Coco.  She is such a little sweetpea.  I was also quite lucky in the behavior department with her.  She has had no formal training, but is an absolute joy.  She has MANY fans.  My mother and sister are both in love and have said they are going to take her one day.  LOL  She really is very special.  I have a feeling God hand selected her, because of her lovable personality, because he knew how my heart would need a helping hand after losing Montana.  :) Yes, I know I'm a complete SAP! LOL I can't help myself!  I'm sure I would have a house full of pets if I was able. 
......And so my friends, that is my story with the sad ending.  I know that Montana is in good hands in heaven, and waiting for me in the beautiful pasture passed the rainbow bridge.  With that I will leave you with a poem I recieved after her death, and though sad, it was one thing that gave me a wonderful feeling picturing her in the pasture beyond.  God Bless!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

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