A Vent Session

We have three tetris ponds in the front of our house.  My husband built them a few years ago.  We've had a lot of trouble with them, the fountain worked for a year, then that went on us.  The bottom pond had to be replaced twice because it got a mysterious hole in the bottom.  We had rocks in between each pond, and a filter system that would allow the water to go around and down into the bottom pond.  But you so much as sneezed on that sucker and the ponds would be emptied on the lawn by morning.  We even had beautiful gold fish at one point.  That turned out to be a bad idea though as well, because the kids got really attached to them, and loved feeding them until it came time for winter and we had to find a new home for them.  The kids cried for days that we lost their gold fish. 

Anyway, so last year we sort of gave up on them, and just let them have water in them.  We have to bleech them out all of the time though because otherwise frogs take over.  ( we live in the woods)  Well I don't know if it's because of the fact that the ground is drier this year and the frogs have no where to go or what, but we are over run with frogs and frog eggs.  When I was a kid I used to LOVE walking up and down the road in spring time until I found a perfect batch of eggs and loading them in my bucket and took care of them until they hatched.  Well last count the bottom pond has 18 sacks, the middle has 11 and the top has 2.  Our pool has had 4 but I refuse to let them get more then a minute old there, so I have already taken those out!  I brought one huge batch to school this morning for my son Aydens kindergarten class to hatch, and had a few more offers on the way out from other teachers.  I'm kind of hoping I can give them all away rather than having to "get rid" of them.  The thing is if we don't get rid of them we are going to have thousands upon thousands of frogs.  As it is now we had to learn how to live with the sound of them.  We've learned alot about frogs, and how they communicate.  The different sounds they make to call out to eachother as they move closer and closer to eachother.  My kids think it's hysterical and love to share it with the other kids at school.  They were very proud walking in today with all the other kids and teachers asking them all about it.  Too bad I couldn't sell them, that would be a good quick way to make a few dollars!! haha!

Earlier in the week the husbands Dad went for a small procedure to be done on his heart, but it worked out in the end and they only ended up just looking at everything and not having to repair it.  My husband was very worried about him, and even drove him down to the appointment.  I knew right away once he volunteered to do that he must of been very worried.  He almost never even calls him, he always leaves it up to me to make the calls, and keep the family happy.  Have I mentioned before now how grumpy my husband is?  Don't get me wrong I love that man, lord knows I do.  Grumpy ways and all, but sometimes that constant negative demeanor can be very exhausting.  For example last night we went to my sons first band concert, and literally for the entire time we were getting ready he was yelling, and bellowing the entire time.  By the time we got out the door we were so incredibly stressed out I felt like my blood pressure was through the roof!! 

Another issue I have is, I can never lay on the couch and relax.  Even if it's on a Saturday and I've worked both of my jobs all week long, one well into the middle of the night, he would have a fit if I were to lay on the couch.  Well since he's been short on jobs, he's been home all the time now.  He only goes to our office when I do.  It used to be that Tuesday and Thursdays were devoted to me staying home, catching up on housework and doing my job.  Well now he is home during those days and sits on the couch watching Jerry Springer, and Judge Judy all day.  I can't stand it anymore.  If I ever even thought about laying on the couch and watching a show he'd have something to say immediately.  I can really see how financial strains puts stress on your marriage.  It's almost impossible to sometimes not get into an argument because the tension is so high.  I want to figure a way to work though this, but some of the changes that he has adopted into his personality are really hard on me.  I haven't sat and watched a full tv show in almost 2 years.  I'm angry at myself for ever putting up with that behavior from him, but as it is now if I were to sit down for a minute, and I hear him come in, I instinctively jump up and start cleaning.  This is ridiuclous!! Absolutely ridiculous!  I'm starting to become very, very bitter, and that completely terrifies me.  He even said himself the best way for him to ever get jobs, and how it's always been for him is by him getting out there and seeing people.  That's usually how he gets his jobs.  Well when he needs a very large amount of money to come up with tomorrow, you would think he would have found a better way to use up his time today.  Rather than waiting until it's time for us to all sit down and have dinner that's when he decides to go out.  I just do not get it.

Thank you for allowing me to vent this all here.  It's a great thing to be able to just put it out there and then move on from it. 

God Bless!